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Saturday, March 23, 2013
After All.  Two more days to China finally. So this will be the last post before I fly because firewall blocked Facebook, Twitter, Youtube and also Blogger. I've done prepare everything, listed down all those place he went. Bought the gift I wanna give him, and also prepared some words to tell. but suddenly know that he fly to HK in the afternoon alrd. Not yet know when will he back but I will wait, no matter what. Ohya I've also booked a time to meet Enson at his shop. I wonder what his reaction will be when he meet me. But I hope he won't be too shock or faint? Lol. Honestly, I never dream that I can reach China before 18th. For me it was impossible to meet rui before 18 years old. But now I get the chance to step closer. I not sure whether we can meet or not but at least I try. I suddenly realized that my families love me so much. They gave me a lots, somethings we can't buy with money. Uncle come and talk with me this morning, he ask me to enjoy my three weeks time there, and then come back with a better me, even if my mission fail. HAHAHAHAH! I laughed when I heard he said mission. He knew I've something to do when I reach there, not only to visit my relatives or a travel. Mum knew, aunts uncles knew, but dad don't know. Sometimes I feel very hard to communicate with dad. I don't think we have generation gap because he is not considered as old. But he always can't understand what we, his children trying to say. He scolded me when he knew I'm going to Beijing alone. He scold scold but then he never ask me why I want to go so badly. He never try to listen before he scold. He will only think for his own view, never from others. I feel really hard to talk with him, so sometimes I rather not to talk with. You know, daddy should be a king for his daughter. I love my dad so much, but I always praying hard not to get a husband like him. I didn't say he is a bad daddy, but he's fail in communication. That's true, even mum also admit that. He closed his ears, never listen to others. We can argue many times just for a little thingy. With me, with brother or sometimes with mum. Can You please reopen my dad's ears so that he can understand us? God.  First time leave home and stay outside for such a long period. Start to worry and scare actually. Wish that there have nothing different when I back here. But I promise, I will become a better me. a not stubborn, not over bearing, and stronger me. 一個我即將要在那裡生活三個星期的地方.  Hope that everything will be fine. May God bless everyone, and my families. Saturday, March 9, 2013 I PROMISED.  I promised so many. I promised to love you forever. I promised not to let you go. I promised to keep you in my heart. I promised to go on, never afraid. I promised so many, too many. But I'm really sorry. I've another promise, another promise which I need to give up on you. I knew, I will never have you. You will never remember me. Marry with you when I'm 23 years old, wear the red wedding dress you love, step into your house, become your wife, everything just a dream. I knew, I really do. So why should I still suffer myself for you? 15 days to go you know, my dear. Still so many things not yet settle. Still so many trouble not yet throw. and I still have not enough faith to let you go. This will be the very last time. Last time I post something to you or something about you. Last time I call your name. Last time I see your face or photo. Last time I hear your voice. I must give up on you and start my real life. My real life without you, my beloved mr.wang. Trust me, I can do it. No matter how hard it is, I can do it. I'm just a girl you never want. So just leave quietly and live happily.  I'm fine. Just leave me alone, I will be fine. ***** 我放棄了王睿, 來守護我的夢想.  每一次看完一本書, 我都會感觸良多. 今早又看完了一本, 一本讓我哭到想死的書. 讓我真的有一刻想不要活了,覺得人生漫無目的了. 作者說 " 要守護一樣東西, 就必須放棄一樣東西. " 我重複看了那段文章半個小時. 我不斷在問我自己到底想要守護什麼, 到底能放棄什麼. 而我最後, 選擇放棄王睿, 守護夢想. 值得的, 一定值得的. 王睿, 要好好活. 一定要好好活. |
Yap Yee Ling ✝ Little stubborn Taurus ♉ Arrived earth on 19950511. Dare to Dream. Super fans of Badminton. I love Beast */ B2ST too. I believe in miracles. China is my little dreamland.
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